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Of One and Many Things

I. Of Reading

The first time I picked up a book with the sole intent of reading it was a fairly long time ago. I remember it was the ninth Nancy Drew book, The Sign of the Twisted Candles. Even if you paid me an obscene amount of money, I wouldn't be able to tell you what it was about. Honestly, as I look back on it now, I've come to think that the Nancy Drew series was fairly shallow; no overall plot, not much depth to even Nancy herself.

But that is neither here nor there. The point is that I picked that book up. After that, another. And after that, fifty more. I finished the original Nancy Drew volumes in a relatively short time.

Alas, my love for her did not last. Soon, Nancy's life was not the only one I visited in my mind and in my dreams. I soon began reading along with Meggie, crawling with Coraline, flying through Alagaesia on Saphira's back, and proclaiming my love for a certain Mr. Potter.

But Nancy Drew was my first, and I'm forever thankful to her.


II. Of Experiencing

If there's anything I seek in this world, then it's experience. So far, I believe I'm doing a pretty good job at it, too.

I cannot really take all the credit; my mother seeks the same thing, I would think. It's because of my mother that I have been able to experience what others can only dream of. I've been to the Beijing Olympics and even got incredible seats to certain events. I've ridden a coach around Europe. I've ridden on the back of an elephant. I've travelled to so many different places in the world, and yet, there are still so many places that I plan to go.

I've stood in front of a crowd and delivered a speech. I've stood in a crowd and yelled myself hoarse at concerts. I've bought a whole library of books. I've made friends.

When I look back on things I've done, I see both good and bad things. Contrary to popular belief, I tend to discard the bad.

In the end, I always end up feeling lucky.

III. Of Achieving

Lady Luck has almost always smiled in my direction. And believe me, she's gorgeous.

I cannot easily brush off that I rely on my own abilities too. I'm fairly good at math, and when I'm genuinely interested in something, the knowledge just sticks. I'll admit I can't draw or sketch very well, but art has never been a weak point for me.

I've won places in competitions. Quiz bees, art contests, writing contests. Sometimes to the point that many would shove me into them even when I just wanted to rest. I have shiny little medals that don't really mean much. I've gotten good grades, regardless of my breakdowns.

While this is all good, I often wonder what will happen once Lady Luck grows tired of me and turns away.

IV. Of Feeling

Feeling something and feeling something are two completely different things.

In the end, beauty is not the only thing that lies with the beholder.

Triumph. I win. I may boast of it or remain silent, a picture of modesty. Congratulations. That's what a fellow contestant will probably tell me. Though she may look happy for me, she wonders how it would feel to be on the other side. Maybe sometime later, I'll wonder the same.

Sorrow. Someone's died.  I mourn, though I will never be able to share the same pain and grief that the one closest to him feels. In the end, I'd never be able to imagine it.

It's a constant, shifting tide I'm carried in; not only me, but all, regardless of who they are, when they were born, and where they come from. We are all wayward's passengers: we feel what we feel. Emotions may be put into its grand colors and archetypes, but one will never feel exactly the same as the other.


V. Of Writing

It's what I do best, and sometimes, it's not good enough.

It's all that's left for me, and because of that, I begin to suspect that despite my achievements and my luck, I am destined to fail.


JT got nothing on me

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